Cigarette (2006)

The dictionary defines cigarette as a small roll of finely cut tobacco for smoking, enclosed in a wrapper of thin paper. A simple definition; it hardly does justice to the pain it inflicts. For some it is the act of rebellion from the forces by which they are bound. For others, it is the over-worn string keeping them anchored to their sanity. Some fear its effects, while others choose to find bliss in forced ignorance. The fixation controls thoughts and feelings- leaving you helpless to the danger you have willingly accepted. Each pull of smoke is another stone laid upon the walls in which you have become so inescapably enclosed. He is my cigarette, and he’s got me hooked. I look at him with resentment, but at the very same time he brings an undeniable sense of relief. He’s a temporary high, leaving me with nothing but a blurred delusion of reality. I breathe him in, well aware of the damage being done, but enjoying the timely pleasure for what it’s worth. He keeps me coming back for more, and I continue to grow weaker to the urge. I have surrendered the fight, and he has won. As I slowly pull his poison in, I lay calm, still; I am numb to the touch. I tell myself I’ll quit one day, but the sad truth remains: I will surely die trying.